Thursday, January 28, 2010

Finding home- Part 3

I had never had a home in the true sense of the word. My parents fought constantly and in front of us. I always felt like it was my fault when they fought over me. They made it very clear that we were inconveniences to their lives. I never once felt that way in the year that I lived with the Gramlich’s. There were so many firsts for me in my experience of living with them. We ate dinner as a family most of the time. Robin didn’t really cook but we went out or ordered in and ate together, as a family, no fighting. We had game night where friends would gather to eat, drink and have tons of fun! We had something they called “family meetings”. If there was an important issue or topic that needed discussing as a family, we sat around the table and talked it out. My family screamed and yelled. I had no idea there was another way until I moved in with them. It was the first time in my life that I felt secure and loved.

I had my own room and Leigh had hers but we slept together in my room most times. We would lie in bed for at least an hour each night solving the world’s problems. I can think back to those times and almost feel myself there next to her. She would throw her fist out and punch down the corner of my pillow so she could see my face. Every night I thought she was going to miss and hit me in the face. She never did.

Somehow with all of the privilege that Leigh had been raised with she understood those who did not have what she had. We were a very unlikely pair, Leigh and I. I never felt like she judged me or anything that I shared with her and I shared everything. I had seen so much of life, not necessarily in the best light, and Leigh still seemed wiser. I remember talking to her about my mom and my disappointment that I had nothing close with my mom to what she had with hers. She knew that and I always thought that was why she shared her own parents so freely. Now I think about it and I don’t really think she ever gave it a second thought. She understood me and my issues with my mom. She didn’t try to explain it away like most people either. She told me that she was the only mom I was going to get. Basically it was up to me to forgive and move on so that I had my mom or I could walk away and have nothing. My relationship with my mom immediately improved because I changed my outlook.

I had my license when I moved in with the Gramlich’s and Leigh didn’t so teaching her to drive became my job. He dad’s company had an old F150 with huge side runners on it that I taught her to drive in. She was an ok driver. Her issue was more not having a clue where she was going. For having lived all of her life in the same town, she apparently never looked up and paid attention while she was being driven around. Leigh could only get you to places that were close to a mall. We had many great adventures out on those drives. She called her mom once because I told her to take me to Wal-Mart, any Wal-Mart, and she couldn’t. She was crying and telling her mom how mean I was. It still makes me laugh to think about it today. There were those times that we had to take her mom’s Jaguar for her driving lesson. It was a V12 and every time Leigh got behind the wheel despite my lack of faith, I prayed. She always did fine.

No comments:

Post a Comment