This theory really made me think. Leigh was way wise beyond her years so it made sense. She didn’t waste time on things. She embraced and enjoyed every second of her life on earth. This realization made me start to take stock of my own life. I wasn’t happy in my relationship. I was too young for where it was headed and it wasn’t what I wanted. I knew this before Leigh died. But losing her made me see that life was too short to waste time on what you don’t want. I could die tomorrow and this wasn’t the legacy that I wanted to leave behind. I thought long and hard about my decision. After 6 months I told Chad we were through and I got my very own apartment for the first time in my life. Instead of praying to God/spirit/Universe at the time, I prayed to Leigh.
During this time, my bond with Leigh’s family and friends solidified. We did fund raiser for Leigh’s house which required a lot of planning and together time. I don’t know how I would have gotten through without that time. I spent lots of time at the Gramlich’s house, my home away from home, and it never got less weird to be there without Leigh. Right up until they sold the house last year, I always felt her there. Sometimes that was what really drew me back.
The fundraising committee
There are still times to this day that I can feel Leigh in my car with me. Like she is riding shot gun and just chatting away about something. I can FEEL her there. This might sound creepy to some of you but with the feeling of peace that comes over me, I know it is her. When Aunt Louise died and I had to read her eulogy I prayed to Leigh for support. I didn’t cry, stutter or miss a beat and everyone told me how wonderful I did. I gave all credit to Leigh.
I would have never thought 10 years ago that I would be able to look back on Leigh’s death with anything but grief. I am still sad. I miss her every day. I think about her, her parents and what they brought to my life so often. I think of her smile and her amazing blue eyes and it makes my mind go all sorts of directions. It is much like in one of the last episodes of Sex and the City when Carrie is leaving for Paris and she says to her girls; “I had a thought today. What if I had never met you?”
The month before I moved out of mine and Chad's house I visited my sister in Reno. We were driving up the mountain and I had a vision of this tattoo. My brother-in-law at the time new a great artist and so we made it happen. This was one of the best decisions I ever made. I love it when people ask me what it means and who she was. I once ran into a sorority sister of Leigh's in a bar. I had never met her but she saw my tattoo and stopped me to let me know that she had been touched by her as well.