Friday, June 12, 2009

Crazy or quirky?

I was laughing at myself and some of my “quirks” the other day and Dan suggested some people might think these are the rants of a crazy woman. You be the judge.

Feet- I love my own feet. I love giving myself pedicures. I am one of the few people who do not really enjoy getting a pedicure done by someone else because I feel like I do a better job. I also am not a huge fan of strangers touching my feet. Actually, I am not a fan of anyone but me touching my feet. I have a problem with other people’s feet in a great big unhealthy way. In my previous relationships I told the person as soon as it was an issue for me and they stopped. When I met Dan he was very cuddly at night and I was really used to sleeping alone. He sleeps on his back and I prefer my stomach, which is not conducive to cuddle time. So we would cuddle for a minute and each roll our own separate ways and then one night…it happened. He intentionally extended his leg and put his barefoot right onto mine! I remember waking up that first morning all wiggidied out and asking him why he had his foot, and just his foot, on me all night. He said “well I just like to feel that you are there”. So my heart melted and I couldn’t tell him my foot problem. Over time I got used to his foot always touching mine at night but then he told me he really liked it if the bottoms of our feet touched. I laughed out loud in his face but I am not gonna lie, I tried it and it wasn't so bad. Fast forward a few months and we are watching TV on the couch one day. He is lying down and I am sitting on the end near his feet. He has no socks on and in an effort to get my attention he pinched me with his toes! I finally broke down and told him my foot issues. He couldn’t believe that I had been letting our feet touch all of that time when I had such issues. I really have grown to appreciate a foot reaching out in the night but pinch me with your toes and I’ll cut a bitch. Quirk or crazy?

Killer Trucks- This is an inner demon that I have battled for over a decade. Perhaps I had some sort of traumatic childhood experience involving livestock. Whatever the case, I cannot stand cattle trucks. They make my blood boil. I actually want to run them off the road and/or physically harm their drivers. I will lean down and mouth KILLER to the driver as I am passing by. I call them killer trucks and that is what they are. When I think about the poor breeding conditions, hormone injection, life of confinement and horrible death these animals are dealt I cannot see straight. All goes red. I eat red meat very rarely; mostly burger and filet. I don’t eat pig and I haven’t for years. That comes from my long love of pigs. I consider giving up red meat every time I pass a cattle truck. This past Wednesday I was driving home from work in the fast lane when I spotted the killer truck ahead, in the lane right beside me. I usually speed up, mouth “killer” and get past them far enough to not think about it. I NEVER look inside. So I have executed my strategery and I am reaching the back end of the truck as to slide on by when I see them. Little snouts poking out of the killer truck holes. 3 rows of little snouts and they are a few inches out of the holes so I can’t help but notice. THEY ARE PIGS! Poor little pigs with cute little snouts who are gasping for air because they are 3 deep in this nasty killer truck. I was devastated. I called Dan to talk me down off of the ledge and he told me to take a xanax and relax. I recognized my complete over reaction but I could not help it. I wanted to physically harm the man driving. That is not right. Then I felt guilty because he is just trying to feed his own family; the Future-killer-truck-drivers-of-America. I am pretty sure I am headed to vegetarianism. And now Dan worries about me driving alone.

Moisture- I am fanatical about moisturizer. Moisture is the key to younger looking skin and for some reason that has been stuck in my head since I was 12. At 16 I started using Oil of Olay. My ex roommate used to call it oil of old lady. This is a strange quirk but one that has lasted ½ of my life. I do feel as if I have very healthy skin so I will probably continue with my ritual until I am old and grey. I use baby oil on my entire body after a shower and sometimes I will still lotion after that. I often wonder if other people share my compulsion.

Some other small quirks that deserve honorable mention: Toilet paper- must be over…never under. DON’T ash in the sink, especially if there are ashtrays nearby and NEVER ash in a cup, a glass or on a plate. Small children who act a fool drive me insane. I have been known to start screaming like a wild person myself so they understand how completely stupid they look. I have also been known to throw a leg out and trip a brat. A baby crying is one of the worst sounds in the world to me. I hate it when people open/hang on/leave open the refrigerator door. This comes from my childhood and my mom’s classic “are you cooling the county?” I am fanatical about my plants and candles. Don’t mess with either one. I have a knack for burning candles evenly as to not waste wax and I hate it when people mess with my candle groove. This mostly applies to people who live with me. My sister used to try to water my plants as a favor. It irritated me horribly and when she realized she was killing them she finally stopped.

Now for the things I do that annoy others. My sister hated that I would leave my coffee spoon on the edge of the sink to reuse on my next refill. It always left a coffee ring and it made her crazier than she already was. Sarah’s biggest issue with me was that I am not always the best about replacing the toilet paper. I find it about as important as making your bed…you are just going to get back in it tonight. If I replace the tp today, it will be empty again tomorrow. I have gotten much better about this with age. I frequently do not shut cabinet doors, pantry doors or drawers on dressers after getting something out. I leave caps off of things a lot. This is Dan’s pet peeve and he catches me at least 3x’s a week having left the contact solution cap open. Now he just closes it without saying anything. I have a really hard time getting rid of clothes that still fit and some that don’t. It’s really very stupid considering I buy mostly 2nd hand anyway. I struggle with verbal vomit which is to say that I have a hard time thinking about what I say before it comes spewing out of my mouth. Oddly enough I also have a hard time apologizing for those thoughts as I do mean them in some small way. I am very passionate about my causes, always rooting for the underdog and I have been known to snap when I feel like people are out of line in their conduct or judgment. One of the biggest things that I do that pisses people off is eating! I eat every few hours and if I don’t I will get cranky. I eat what I want when I want and when big girls say “I wish I could do that” I tell them they are more than welcome to the tummy issues that cause the need to eat so much. I also smoke the herb like they are bootlegging it. I mention this because I know it annoys someone, somewhere. Hopefully someday the tummy issues will make a prescription for the herb possible! Oh, I can’t believe I almost forgot this one. I bite my cuticles; all of the time. It could be the smallest piece of skin and I am biting until I get it off. Completely disgusting and unsanitary, I know. That is all I can think of for now. I am sure there is more. I will add them as comments if they are good enough. I am anxious to hear if you all think I am crazy or quirky. I think it is a nice mix of both. Happy Friday to all and happy freakin’ weekend!


  1. I know a lot of people with foot issues. Feet don't bother me, but I get it. And the killer trucks don't make me mad, just soo sad. I, too, suck at replacing the tp and closing cabinet doors.

  2. I think you are crazy and quirky... but thats why I love you! I love my feet too.. but I LOVE when other people give me foot massages. Joe gives them to me all the time and I think it's one of my favorite things he does for me. I don't usually like touching other people's feet though... although I have gotten used to his. Everyone has stuff they feel strongly about and certain things they do that make them unique. Oh and the Oil of Olay.... I have been using that shit since highschool too.. every morning and every night :)

  3. I agree with Laura...quirky and a little crazy! In a good way, of course.
    No wonder you and N get along so well, you have lots in common. The contacts and the drawers, I learned to just close them behind him like Dan. I really don't even's just the way it works at our house.
    The Oli of Olay thing makes me laugh because I too have been using it since high school! I wonder if we all talked about it back then and decided it was the best stuff to use...

  4. Toni - I can totally get your moisturizer quirk..although I think mine obsession is bordering OCD. I have to use lotion after every shower and hand wash. Weird!