Thursday, July 9, 2009

“An orgasm a day keeps the doctor away”-------Mae West

The elusive Big Oooooo!

I am stunned/shocked/mortified and I MUST blog it out. I have been hearing and reading a lot lately about female sexual patterns. Dan and I have had a few sexual discussions recently where in I have gotten the feeling that he finds me very odd. I have no problem achieving an orgasm. Most times, multiple times. Not knowing any differently, I thought this was normal for everyone. I started doing a little research and found out that MANY women DO NOT ORGASM at all! WTF? I just really had no idea. My friends, for the most part, have very strong sex drives like myself. I have known people in the past who were not sexually satisfied with men but in the end it was really because they were lesbians. (Honest to God) I had no idea that so many women could not achieve orgasm through sexual intercourse. I understand there are women who can orgasm with clitoral stimulation alone and to me this renders sex useless. I honestly don’t think I would have sex if there was nothing in it for me. Perhaps I am really selfish but that is not something I am going to do just for someone else’s pleasure. Yet I find that that is just what many of my friends do! I know, amazabells, right? I am talking about women who find it downright painful to have sex but do it anyway to please their partner. I am simply not that good of a person, I guess.

This whole thing really got me thinking, if I am a woman and I had no idea of the struggles that other women deal with, how is a man to know? And no freaking wonder we have so many male/female issues surrounding sex! For the most part we hear men say that women are not interested in sex. Would you be interested if your penis bled or if you were in a constant state of blue balls because you just couldn’t quite get there? I understand there needs to be a balance here but it seems to me that the scale has tipped in the man’s direction for years now. I mean, let’s be honest, it is not like a guy has to work really hard for his 30 seconds of wonderful! I have a sneaking suspicion that a lot of the female issues that arise come from childhood stigmas such as mom saying, “no, don’t touch that! That is your no-no place”. Or perhaps issues come from the church teaching us that sex is for procreation, not for pleasure. Almost like they think it is a dirty, bad, nasty deed when not done to make beh-beh’s. Some people have issues from sexual abuse or molestation that they just cannot get past. Sometimes there is a true medical reason for women and some men not being able to achieve orgasm.

I think that knowing your body is the key; masturbating frequently and ferociously until you figure it out. Don’t leave it to your partner to satisfy you. If you don’t know what satisfies you, how would he know? This whole thing just boggles my mind. I guess I am truly one lucky bitch as Dan happens to be my lucky sidekick. I cannot imagine sex with no gratification. It pains me to even think of it. Men are funny creatures though and can easily feel emasculated in these areas. Especially if they feel like they are the reason they are not pleasing you.

I remember a past relationship that I had where my boyfriend found out that I was a huge fan of my vibrator and was shocked that a woman would be so open about masturbation. When I explained to him that I felt as if it was very sexually healthy and if he did not, it was his problem. Long story short, he wanted to become a part of that and I advised him that he was not welcome, thereby emasculating him. He said to me: “it’s always better if someone does it for you, isn’t it?” Hmmmm; maybe in your world, Champ but not in mine. I am not trying to give you a 20 minute tutorial for what I could finish in 2 minutes on my own.

I clearly do not embarrass easily so I welcome your comments on this subject. Did you know this was such an issue for women? Am I the only one surprised by this? I posted a link to the story that really got me thinking about it so you can judge for yourself. I’m sorry but if a grown ass woman is not sure if she has had an orgasm or not, I just find that to be a God damned travesty. What do you think?



  1. Um. I am married to a very well-endowed man. A man who might crawl in a hole and die if he knew I was talking about his penis on the internet, so what happens on your blog stays on your blog, right??? :) Anyway, I am unable to achieve orgasm through intercourse, which I am almost sure is due to his size, because with smaller partners, this was not an issue. However, sex still feels gooooood, and I'm all good as long as I have my vibrator to help out before, or afterward. Or usually, if we're being honest, both. And on my own. ;) And like you, I have no problem having several orgasms. Ever. Yays! Hope that helps.

  2. I am pretty much right there with Gina... I still enjoy sex, but am unable to have an orgasm by straight sex alone. I have to have a helping hand, if you will, or a vibrator. But it's all good, it's always been that way, so I don't know any different and I still enjoy sex and being intimate with my partner. If I didn't have sex just because it wasn't going to give me an orgasm... well that wouldn't work out very well for my partner now would it?