Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Mean people SUCK

I consider myself a very strong individual. I have been through some serious shit in my life and I am proud to say that I have survived. I have not only survived; I have thrived. Life is never easy. It is filled with hard obstacles each day. Over the years I can honestly say that I am pretty proud of my decisions and VERY proud of me. So what do you do when there are Nay Sayers in your life that have nothing positive to add and only negative to heap on you? My normal response is to cut those people out. I can’t stand a constant negative influence and some people just cannot be helped. In this case, this person is not even a friend of mine but a friend of a friend we will say. I have no personal relationship with them. We have never had a one-on-one honest and open conversation in our lives. I don’t share my deepest feelings or even scratch the surface of life events with this person because we just disagree on most everything. Well that and the judgmental bullshit that comes with this person. I try very hard just to like this individual as a person sometimes. Obviously my friend who is attached to this person is important or I would just say fuck it and walk away. It does make a bad situation for the middle man, in this case, my friend.

When someone personally attacks you there are a few things you can do.

1. Strike back. This is how I was raised. You insult the person to the point of tears if possible. You take every low blow (even revealing vaulted material) to bring them to their knees. If you read this blog at all you know that I know that the way I was raised was NOT right. I do not wish to take this road.

2. Leave-To me this used to be cowardly but I guess if you save yourself from stooping to the level of example #1 you have won a small victory for yourself. I have never been one to back down or walk away from an argument so while I know it works for some, this option is just not for me.

3. Doubt yourself- You can mull over their opinions and wonder if for all of their hate and fury maybe they are right about you. Maybe you are worthless, stupid and bat-shit crazy? In some cases, if you value the opinion of the person speaking, it might be worth it to look into yourself a bit more. This is not the case with my current situation so there is no point to that.

4. Revenge- (ahhh, sweet revenge!)THIS is the Scorpio way so it is also a bit ingrained into me. Problem is I don’t really care enough for revenge. I don’t even really care enough about this person’s shitty one-sided opinion of me. I just want them to stop caring so much about my life that they think their opinion is important to anyone, especially me!

5. Say fuck it and move on- You can’t control other people’s actions, only your reactions. I feel as if I reacted well this time. And the time before that. And the time before that. But how long do you let someone assume you are their punching bag before you strike back?

I have no desire to be around this person. The negative energy and thought process serves no purpose for me. This is not the first time we have had this issue and I don’t see it being the last. I have avoided talking to my own family members who have brought less grief into my life so it seems unfair to do nothing about this situation. If I cut all ties, I am also cutting out a friend, as they are a packaged deal. This person is not worth this to me but also not worth biting my tongue anymore. This might sound petty and ridiculous to some people but my entire childhood consisted of name calling, beating other people down to build yourself up and living with an asshole. I feel like life is on repeat when I am with this negative influence. He has told me I am a bad friend, he regularly implies that I am a bad person and most recently he told me I was desperate. I did not hit him, for those of you who know me IRL. A few years ago he told me I would never find a man so I should just “go ahead and start licking pussy now”. Yep, he’s a gem.

I can only assume it makes him feel good to make others feel bad. There is a way to express your opinion and a way to be an asshole and he has chosen the later. (Oddly like my father, probably another reason for contempt) Most importantly to point out here is that I have NEVER solicited an opinion from this person. Quite to the contrary, over the years I have tried to make it clear just how little his opinion matters to me and my life. Sure, I am hurt but not because of him or his hateful words. It hurts me that my relationship with my friend in this situation has been clouded by this nonsense for years. I feel like we can’t have a real conversation without an uninvited and non interested 3rd party butting in. I know that my friend is mortified by this behavior but there is nothing that can be done on her end other than getting upset. I rather think this person feeds off of the misery of others so that probably just helps fuel the insults. The best thing that I can do for me is remove any and all negative from my life…one asshole at a time. Check, check and check. (Can you see them falling away?)

I won’t let this ruin my friendship but I will stand up for myself in the future. No need to be nice and play it safe like I have been doing. If he can bust out the shit he has, surely he can take it, right? I also have to keep in mind that while I try to forget the intense training of my childhood, I was raised by one of the biggest assholes in the world. I got this.


  1. Well, HE can kiss my ass too! I was going to give him business but I guess I will pay someone else to get the job done.

  2. wow some people are hard to be around

    good luck i hope things get better and you keep that friendship

    p.s. i would usually do # 3, unfortunately