Friday, October 23, 2009

Is that what that was?????

I attended my dear friend Rachel’s wedding this weekend. It was one of the most beautiful, simple and elegant ceremonies that I have been to in a long time. Dan got to finally meet Rachel and her more-than-fantastic mate, Troy, which was a great source of excitement for me. During the 2 and a half hour break between wedding and reception we met my friend Kari and her boyfriend Brad for some drinks. It was also the first time that Dan had met the 2 of them as he works the crazy hours saving lives and Brad is studying for the CPA which has ruined anything social for him for quite some time. The day was going fantastically as we arrived to the reception with more than a little pre-party buzz on.

Of course, this is where the story gets hairy. The bride works for her ex boyfriend, who I also used to work for. We did not end on great terms, her ex boyfriend and me, as he fired me. He was there with his wife and I somehow was able to dig deep and find it within myself to make nice and act as if it had all never happened. If she can work with him every day, surely I can swallow my distaste. Don’t misunderstand, I am less upset about losing my job or how he treated me than how other situations went down. I digress…and bygones really. So I have reached that hurdle and clearly mastered it when I see my very own ex boyfriend is in attendance. We were all mutual friends so this should not have come as a surprise but honestly the thought did not occur to me until I realized we were a mere 1 tables distance from one another. Just a bit of background here, this was the relationship for me that could not and would not end. We were toxic to one another’s lives almost upon impact and should have both known better. But alas, instead we dated off and on for more than 6 years. There were long periods of both off and on time as well as violent events requiring police intervention and many out of control arguments that just should not have happened. In the end we tried to be friends and even took a vacation to Amsterdam together to prove to ourselves and everyone else that we could do it. That worked for over a year but then, to be completely honest, we got drunk and had sex one night…and then it was over. Really, just like that. I saw him last year at a funeral where we exchanged a few uncomfortable words and that was it.

At first I thought my best option was a simple eye contact acknowledgement across the room and leave it at that but I kept catching the eye. It was really ridiculous and after 20 minutes or so of slight pressure, I just let it go. Who cares? That was years ago. I am a different person and I sincerely hope for his sake that he is too. Again, I called bygones and headed off to the bathroom and then the bar to refresh my and Dan’s drinks. Wouldn’t you know, low and behold, who is coming up the very narrow stairwell to the bathroom as I am going down? None other than the ex. So, “I smiled at the son-of-a-bitch, for I couldn’t help myself”. Sorry, I couldn’t resist quoting Steel Magnolias there. I did smile, I said hello and I told him we shouldn’t act as if we didn’t have a past together (clearly 6 years is a long time). His reply was an instant and gigantic bear hug and he said “we’ll always have Amsterdam, baby”. That was it. He went up and I went down and the whole uncomfortable mess was over.

I noticed upon reaching the bottom of the stairs and rounding them that someone was on the stairs still, frozen in place. I turned around to find a young waiter looking rather stunned. I realized that he had just witnessed our terribly uncomfortable encounter and was in fact standing on the steps as we had our little embrace. I told him that he had just witnessed a moment to which he replied “Is that what that was?”

I laughed for about 10 minutes by myself in the bathroom. How stupid to be worked up about that? The past is in the past and the rest of the night was fantastic. I danced my heart out and I was so incredibly sore most of this week. I am clearly too old to be droppin’ it like I was. So much fun though. I was proud to be a part of the night and so happy I didn't let stupid stuff get in the way of my good time. A moment it was, indeed.


  1. "And that, my friend, is what I call...closure."
    I'm not sure where I am quoting that from, but it seems appropriate!

  2. Anrazel...that's from Friends.

    Toni-this was a great story. I am sitting here nursing my own bout of the swine flu while worrying sick about Logan and you gave me some peace while reading your funny little post for a few minutes. Thanks girl!