The truth about Facebook...

Well hellooooo, Friday! It is very nice to see you again old friend! I have some of my own Craw cleaning to do and I will wrap up with a positive note, I promise!

I was sitting at my desk last week checking out my beautiful view of downtown Clayton from my office, catching up on the goings on of all of my Facebook friends (it's what I do all day, shut up!) and I quickly got annoyed. All summer I have seen posts about taking kids to pools, lounging by pools with cocktails, packing for, anticipating and then the let-down upon return from vacation. I have many friends who are teachers who have quite frankly, fucked off all summer. Now as the summer draws to a close…we have a bunch of whiners on our hands. Oh, boo…your summer is over; well mine never started. Besides camping for Memorial Day and the whirlwind trip to see my sister graduate law school…I got bupkis by way of vaca, ok? I have been sitting in this tiny office, with a tiny window all summer long. I have had the occasional Saturday afternoon at the pool but far and few between. Don’t misunderstand, I know there are some who appreciate what they have…for example Gina over at Namaste by day just posted this about how grateful she is for her life and opportunity to be at home this summer with her son. This is rare and I feel as if I should give credit where it is due.
_____________________________________________________________________________________
Also on Facebook, hence the FB rants title, I am so tired of my 26-35 friend demographic and their alcoholic, trashtastic and slutty posts. You drink so much because you are an alcoholic. Like your parents before you, you have a problem with the booze. You need to call a hotline, join a group or just get the fuck away from the people you hang out with. This is why you don’t have any money, true friends or job stability. It is also why you can’t find your debt card from going out last night but you did find a foreign object in your Va-jay-jay. Don’t post things like “why do I/did I drink so much?” We don’t care that you played “just the tip” with a complete stranger or that you got so drunk that you lost all mode of contact with your other gutter slut friends. Stop posting your horrible photos of cracked out ho’s with too much eyeliner and not enough self respect to close their legs to a camera, let alone a crowded bar. That VD you picked up could easily have come from the toilet seat, like you claim but from the looks of the hunk of paroled-druggie-loser in your profile pic, my money is on him. You can’t find a decent guy because you are not acting like a decent girl. You lay down with dogs, you get up with fleas and girl, and you need to see the vet! This also applies to a few boys that I know because we all know a classy lady lets her boyfriend post a crotch pic as his sign of affection for her. Get a grip, drunks and drunkettes! Oh, see and you just posted your plans to drink again tonight. History will be back to repeat itself fo sho.
_____________________________________________________________________________________
Last but not least, is Facebook the place where all old boyfriends go to die? When I said I never wanted to see you again…I meant it. Please don’t friend request me after all of these years, certainly don’t IM me and DO NOT under any circumstances try to convince me of how much you have changed. I don’t care…that is why I left you behind years ago. I don’t care to see you, your wife/current baby maker, your illegitimate children or your family that I could not stand when I dated you. I don’t need your rude comments about my weight loss, gay loving or what you thought I would (or would not) become. You were then and will always be a complete douche bag to me. I do wish you the best of luck on those pending paternity tests. May the outcome be everything that you hoped for and more. I am sure I will read about it on Facebook.
_____________________________________________________________________________________
Ok, I think I have emptied my Craw for now. I don’t know about you but I feel better. So a little update on my last post, apparently walking away did some good. Mr. Man had some time to think about things and we actually had a very productive conversation yesterday after work. Since my moving in and adjusting to sharing our lives we have definitely hit our share of road blocks. The more I talk to friends the faster I realized that this happens for every couple. You are taking 2 people who were raised completely differently and trying to get them to build a home and a life together. I feel like our situation is further complicated by the conflicting personalities in my household. My parents argued everything. I think even if they knew they were wrong they stood their ground for the sake of arguing. I am so grateful that we were able to communicate and hear one another. I am sure there will be more of these issues in the future but at least we are getting better at working them out. Not only did I get an apology (clearly he was wrong:-) I got homemade biscuits and gravy for breakfast before work and he made my espresso for me! Now THAT is love.
_____________________________________________________________________________________
I am heading to the Lake of the Ozarks this weekend with some girls. It will be my official closing to summer (I am sure you read on FB that it is over) and the first time in a long time that I have had a girl’s weekend away. I don’t know about half of the group that is going and I LOVE the idea of that. I always have fun at these sorts of things. I love to lay in the sun reading, drinking and being raunchy with other girls. I plan to take some tips from some guttersluts on FB and drink until I pass out (the pictures make it look so fun) and then head home completely refreshed and ready to take on my life again. That is the plan anyway. Dan is at the lake this afternoon doing the removal of the flags for the color guard (let us all pretend to understand) and he will be heading home about the time I am heading out. He suggested that we keep in contact and meet up roadside for a little hello/goodbye. I, of course, suggested that we just roll the windows down and wave as we pass each other on Hwy 70 but Mr. Man isn’t down for that. Pffffttt, whatever! I will update you on Monday and hopefully have lots of pics as proof of my vacation. Bwahahahaha!

"You said you 'n' me was gonna get out of town and for once just really let our hair down. Well darlin', look out 'cause my hair is comin' down!" Thelma Dickerson of Thelma and Louise