Piss and Vinegar

My old Aunt Louise used to use the term "full of piss and vinegar". I asked her once what it meant and she said spunky, rowdy, making a ruckus and livin' on the edge. I thought it pretty much summed me up as a kid. It actually summed her up pretty well too so it was a compliment to me. Today I have that old piss and vinegar in my system again. I have absolutely no filter for what I am thinking (or saying aloud). I am coming down with a head cold so maybe it is the meds messing with my filter. I need my filter! I am feeling downright avoided by people who used to be good friends. My dad is an immature baby who is clearly upset with me but not man enough to say why. I am so tired of everyone whining about their lives I could just BUST! (I see the irony of the glass house I live in and the stones thrown, trust!) School is putting more than a little pressure on my already strained existence. I am hoping on a wing, a prayer and a miracle that I can actually start school on time without paying thousands of dollars out of pocket. That is another blog in itself, once I clear the P&V from my system.

Since when does everyone think that life is about them and only them? We all got ourselves to where we are today. Crying over spilled milk really doesn't help. If I know this then, why am I kicking myself for not starting my process for school sooner? I know I have a part in the fact that I might not be able to start this semester. Does anyone take responsibility for things anymore? Maybe I am just having a shitty day but it feels like everyone is looking for someone else to blame. It is easier, I guess, to bitch about other people than to just do what you need to do for you. I do it too. I am not knocking. I just need to vent a moment.

What can I do to be better? That is what I need to concentrate on. I can focus on me and the positive in my life instead of my negative and everyone else's. I am happy, healthy and more confident than I have been in a while. I have finally found my direction with school. Even if it doesn't work out for me to start until summer, finding my major was HUGE! I promise to post more on that later. I have a space of my own again and I am looking forward to getting my own place in 6 months or so. I am learning to level my expectations and while it is still upsetting, you just can't expect anything from certain people. The sooner you learn that lesson the less disappointed you will be. I have started a short-list of those people. I am also learning about myself and my strengths and weaknesses. I am learning what I want again and also what I will not tolerate. There is a lot going on in this crazy head of mine. I am doing my best to keep it positive but today it is mostly piss and vinegar. Just sayin'.

I am a Google freak so I just had to:

Full of piss and vinegar
Meaning-Rowdy, boisterous, full of youthful energy.
Origin -The earliest citation I've found is from 1938 in John Steinbeck's The Grapes of Wrath: Grampa walked up and slapped Tom on the chest, and his eyes grinned with affection and pride. "How are ya, Tommy?""O.K.," said Tom. "How ya keepin' yaself?""Full a piss an' vinegar," said Grampa.

Seriously? To add some more piss and vinegar to injury; The Grapes of Wrath is one of the worst "classic" pieces of literature EVER! I read it only because it was a "classic" and I found it to be absolute trash! This was my final sign that I should go home and go to bed. Tomorrow is a new day!

Peace, Love, Piss and Vinegar,
T