“Cheers to a New Year and another chance for us to get it right.”~Oprah Winfrey

I am looking forward to the New Year as well as the possibilities and challenges that lie ahead. I feel like it truly is a fresh start. Last year at this time I was almost 1 month into the heartbreak of my life. Even though I said a lot of great things, the fact of the matter is, my heart was destroyed. I feel like I am in a completely different place now. Most of my anger at CL and the situation have passed. I recognize his inability to deal with his own feelings and life therefore I see how impossible it was for him to deal with mine. I am not making excuses or saying that it was ok but I was not getting what I needed and instead of walking away I pushed for more and better until I got nothing at all. I don’t regret the way I handled the situation and I know it all worked out as it was meant to. I really am in such a different place than I was just 1 short year ago.

I am not making resolutions so much as setting goals and/or establishing my needs and wants publicly today. My horoscope warned me to: Be careful that you don't write anything, on paper or electronically, that you would not be willing to let the world see. Of course that automatically made me think of my blog and the whopping 14 readers that I have. Maybe there are some secret spies out there. Who knows? I created this blog for me so I am going to keep writing the truth until someone sues or I am struck dead.

Some of my goals are carried over from last year but there are new ones on the horizon as well. Here goes…

I want to try new things. I don’t want to be scared or have doubt but just have the guts to grab opportunity wherever it is presented and roll with it.

I want to believe that I deserve all that I am asking for. I want to be able to not only visualize myself with the things that I want but I want to feel them in my hands and know they will come.

I want to learn to play the guitar. I have wanted to do this for my entire life. I always say that I have no natural talents but I have never really taken lessons or tried at anything so maybe that is why.

I want to get my own place. I want to live alone again! I want it to be affordable, cozy and quaint. I would love a 1 bedroom house. I would really like a fenced in yard for Bo on a peaceful little street conveniently located close to everything.

I want to work out my career direction for the future and make that my main focus of 2010. I finally feel ready to learn and further myself in life. I am anxious to get started but I want to know that I am on the right path. I want guidance in finding the right way.

I want to be true to myself in every aspect of my life in 2010 and beyond. I feel like I have learned so much about me recently. I am getting to know and love myself more every day. That is the relationship that I plan to foster most in 2010. One is never alone when they love themselves, they are there for themselves and they support themselves. That is something I really need to get back to in the coming year. I want to fall in love with me again so eventually someone else can too!

I want to become more in line with my spiritual self in the coming year as well. I have gotten so much guidance and positive feedback recently from my spirit guides. Listening to them; or the voice that is within me is the best way to stay in line with my own wants and needs. I want to give myself more quiet time to reflect and meditate on my life and decisions.

I want to start a journal again. In the past, I have always kept a journal but I stopped during my long single period before Dan. I didn’t have much to report other than drinking and mayhem so there didn’t seem a point. I find a journal is a good way to reflect back on your own thoughts and feelings. It really helps me to get to the root of things.

I want to spend more time outdoors this year, preferably for that beach vacation I have been dreaming of. I would like to hike, camp and fish because being in nature makes me feel more a part of the flow of the universe. I would like to visit my best friend at her mountain oasis and spend time in her environment doing what she likes.

I want to open myself up to new opportunities and people, even new ideas or ways of life. I want to learn about different cultures. I would love to travel to other countries.
I want to find a way to give back. Volunteering and helping others always makes me feel good about myself. I have spent a good part of the last year feeling very sorry for myself while others have been much worse off. I appreciate what I have and I want to share that with others in some way in the coming year.

I want to practice gratitude every day. I want to know, believe and accept that the universe is abundant and will provide for me. I want the focus, drive and determination that will be required of me this year. I want confidence in myself and the future. I want health, happiness, good fortune and love to shine down on all of those who are a part of my life in any way.

Tonight my best friend is in town from Colorado with her husband, son and brother. Our families will mesh together to ring in the new year at her parent’s house. It will be: my mom and her husband, my sister and her wife and perhaps even my dad and his wife. That could be blog worthy material right there considering my dad and sister haven’t spoken in years. My 2nd family (my BFF’s family) will all be there too, minus her sister who had a baby 2 days ago via c-section. A few friends will be joining us as well as my old roomie. I am really looking forward to a chill New Years and an even more chill weekend. Hopefully the internet at home will be up and running today so I can take some pics and blog about my new space this weekend. I hope everyone has a safe and happy New Years!

Peace and Love,
Little T

"New Years Eve, Where auld acquaintance be forgot. Unless, of course, those tests come back positive" Jay Leno

New Year's Resolution: To tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time.~James Agate

Making resolutions is a cleansing ritual of self assessment and repentance that demands personal honesty and, ultimately, reinforces humility. Breaking them is part of the cycle.~Eric Zorn