"Put that in your blog and smoke it"

I am so glad that the week has come to an end. I am looking forward to Monday for a fresh start. How sad is that? Life has just been a nauseating rolling coaster lately. This is going to have to be a full week recap so settle in with a beverage and enjoy my crazy life. On Monday I saw my dad for the first time since Christmas. It is crazy that he used to be my best friend and now I feel like I don't even know who he is. I was THE daddy's girl growing up. It took me until my teens to see my dad for the womanizing pig that he really is. Through my 20's I struggled with my idea of him and what I knew him to be. Recently I have realized at 31 years old that I don't have to deal with his shit like I did when I was 12 and my mom had left. I don't have to stroke his ego. I don't have to make excuses for the downright ridiculous and bigoted things he says. (Yes Me, queen of the underdogs, was raised by a bigot) I don't have to hide his affairs or lie about where he is. I don't have to school this grown man on what is right and wrong anymore. Let that be his wife's job. I did my fair share of trying to raise him and I am finished. I was recently writing a letter about my strained relationship with my dad and I realized that he has not changed, I have. He is still a womanizing bigot. He still gives a compliment and takes it away in the same breath. He still plays mind games and fucks with people just for fun. I am the one that does not engage anymore. I won't talk about my sister which is a subject of contention. They didn't speak for almost 8 years after she went to college. During that time, he would ask about her and I would tell him what was going on. When he stopped talking to her again 4 years ago, I stopped telling him anything. She graduated law school, moved back to the Lou and began practicing law in the same municipality that he works in and he didn't hear it from me. Oh, he was pissed. My dad also likes to gossip about all of my friends and old friends. Because the things I have said in the past somehow make it back to people very skewed, I have chosen to not engage in this little game either. It leaves us with little to talk about since dad and his wife don't leave their house. My old roomy, Sarah, came for dinner. I almost think my dad liked it better when we were not getting along and he could pit us against each other. I felt like conversation at dinner was strained. It was weird to be there, honestly. I reached out to him because we hadn't spoken in months. It will probably be another few months if I don't make all of the effort and that pisses me off. I love him. He's my dad. But sometimes I really don't like him.

Tuesday night I had plans to walk at the local park. They have a lake with a path that is 3.7 miles around. I picked up Bo after work and met my friend Nicole at the park. We made it 1/4 of a mile and I stopped to go to the bathroom. When I came out I realized my keys were not in my pocket. We turned around and retraced our steps but did not see them on the ground. We walked back to the car in hopes that I left them there. No such luck. We walked the path again and no keys. Nicole drove around in her car to find a ranger after that while I chilled with Bo. No ranger, no keys...fuck! Nicole is one of the cleanest people I know. I hated to put my 110 pound horse dog in her car but there was no choice. Nicole drove us home to get my spare set and we dropped off Bo. Then back to the park for my car and I insisted on buying dinner for Nicole. She refused until she remembered that the bar LOST her debit card on Saturday and she was at my mercy:-) They did find and return her card, btw. AND our tab was free, obviously! Sadly, I was not so lucky with my keys. I called the park and the police the next day and they assured me they will contact me if they find them. I had a mini breakdown over it and then I was fine. They are just keys.

Wednesday I took a ride out to my mom's in the country with my sister. She and her wife go to Mexico each year for their anniversary (I know, sappy ass gays) and my mom and aunt were watching her dog, Marilyn. It was a fun ride just hanging with my sissy. She was fired up about many things that have her panties in a bunch lately. She mostly will not let me blog about her life as indicated here. Anyhoodle, she was all fired up about something (I honestly don't remember what) and she says, "yeah, so put that in your blog and smoke it", hence the AWESOME headline! Every once in a while she comes out with a doozy. So we had dinner in the country with my mom, aunt and the cheating, lying, no good bastard my mother is legally tied to at the moment (more on that later, I think I am ready to tell all) and then we promptly headed home. My sister was leaving for Mexico Friday at the asscrack of dawn and needed to pack still.

Thursday was my first chill night at home in weeks. Life has just been go, go, go lately and I needed a minute to regroup. I had papers for school to write, laundry to be done and Facebooking to be caught up on. It was actually an excellent night for all of that. My shows (Greys Anatomy and Private Practice) were repeats, which bummed me out but forced me to do something else so it worked out.

Friday my sister called at 4am and I answered "what do you want?" I had agreed to drive her, the wife and their pocket gay to the airport at stupid o'clock that morning. She said "I want a ride to the airport, bitch. Get up!" It was hell. I'm not gonna lie. I am not a morning person but the STL International airport is 10 minutes from my house so I always end up being the airport shuttle bitch. Although, good gifts usually return to me from exotic locations for payment! We will see how good this gift is before I forgive 4am. Friday night I exercised restraint and stayed away from the many offers I had to drink. I came home and did school work. I was very proud of myself!

Saturday I had class. I was a bit pissy in the morning for some reason. In my 2nd class we are doing a group project so no class; just meet with your group. That was quick and painless. I met my girl Nicole at my house at 2 and we drove out to Illinois to a bar called Fast Eddie's. It is good, cheap bar food and people drive from the surrounding states to eat and drink there. My friend, Gina, was celebrating her birthday. The weather was awesome and they have a fantastic patio. We hung out until around 6ish and headed back to the MO. My roomy's brother was celebrating his birthday so we stopped by for a drink and a hello. We managed to drink from 3 until midnight without really getting drunk or crazy, which is amazing when Nicole and I are teamed up. I was really proud of us!

Today is starting as a lazy and leisurely day. I have a going away party at 4 for a friend. Then at 7:30 I agreed to sub on another friends' sand volleyball team. I know it will be fun but Sunday is MY day. I like to chill and do what I want. I don't really want to be getting home at 10 tonight but I already told her I would do it so I'm screwed. I think I am going to pull myself out of my comfy robe and slippers and go Goodwill shopping and run some fun errands today. That will make me feel better about no chill time tonight. I have a few new books that I have been looking forward to starting too so I need to get on that.

Some news of note this week:

President Obama signed a bill making it ok for same sex couples to visit each other in the hospital as well as make medical decisions for one another! This is a huge step for equality!

Melissa and Tammy Lynn Etheridge split. I subscribe to Tammy's blog so I knew before it made headlines. That makes me sad.

Flights over Europe were suspended due to volcanic ash.

Larry King somehow managed to schtoop his beautiful and much younger wife's sister. WTF?

The Polish president and many important figures died in a place crash.

One of my favorite shows, Ugly Betty, had it's series finalle (sad face here) BUT talks are on to make it a movie! I love Justin, the young gay nephew Betty has. They must revive this!

I think that is the full week wrapped up in this one pretty little blog. I hope you all have a fantastic Sunday and rest of your week. I promise to try to be a better blogger in the future!

Peace and Love,
T